Glossary entry (derived from question below)
French term or phrase:
mon regard / ses yeux
English translation:
the innocence of my look, reflected by the intensity of his clear blue gaze
French term
France
Engineering, medicine, chemistry
Native in: Russian 
Works in: Russian to English, English to Russian, French to Russian
mon regard / ses yeux
I guess it's a kind of word-play in the phrase. Could you help me?
the phrase:
J'étais là, face à lui, l'innocence de mon regard dans l'intensité de ses yeux bleus limpides qui me disaient "vient à moi".
My idea:
There was I, before him, the innocence of my look in the power of his clear blue eyes which lured: “Come to me”.
Thank you in advance!
Apr 6, 2009 09:24: Sandra Petch changed "Level" from "PRO" to "Non-PRO"
Apr 7, 2009 16:51: Barbara Cochran, MFA Created KOG entry
Non-PRO (3): writeaway, Helen Shiner, Sandra Petch
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Proposed translations
United States
Laudable Lady Linguist
Native in: English 
Works in: Spanish to English, French to English, English to Spanish, and 3 more.
the innocence of my look, reflected by the intensity of his clear blue gaze
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Note added at 2 hrs (2009-04-05 19:02:48 GMT)
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She's merely "looking" at him, while he's got much more passionate things on his mind, is the way I read it (he "lured" her).
| agree |
bowse123 (X)
2 hrs
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Merci, bowse123.
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my gaze/his eyes
And there I stood, before him- the innocence of my gaze gazing/looking back at me through the sheer intensity of his clear blue eyes that were telling me : 'come to me'...
une idee....
mais dis-moi, tu as vraiment de la chance d'avoir de tels textes a traduire!!!
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Note added at 10 mins (2009-04-05 16:39:08 GMT)
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Helen....sorry, I did not see your answer as I posted mine...!
| Oui, j'ai de la chance... |
| Thank you, arusha_t! |
| agree |
ormiston
: the verb is a problem: Suggested variant = "My innocent gaze meeting the (enticing /suggestive) look in his clear blue eyes"
1 hr
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thank you!
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| agree |
Katarina Peters
6 hrs
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thank you!
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| agree |
Yolanda Broad
8 hrs
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thank you!
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| agree |
Geraldine Oudin
: my innocent gaze...
13 hrs
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thank you!
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United Kingdom
Arts/Academic translator - Art historian
Native in: English
Works in: German to English, French to English
my gaze / his eyes
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Note added at 13 mins (2009-04-05 16:42:17 GMT)
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so: 'the innocence of my gaze reflected back to me in his limpid/clear blue eyes', which said to me, 'Come to me'. ['Come hither' could be used if this is humorous.
| Thank you, Helen! |
| agree |
ormiston
: there must be an adjective for a suggestive come hither expression!
47 mins
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Thanks, ormiston - seductive?
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| agree |
Katarina Peters
6 hrs
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Thanks, Katharina
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Meticulous attention to detail
Native in: English
Works in: French to English, Spanish to English, Catalan to English
looking/eyes
"regard" is usually translated by "gaze" or a verbal phrase which is more common in English, so you might try something like:
looking unsuspectingly into his intense, clear blue eyes...
assuming this a seduction scene where she (is it a she?) is innocent, he powerful...
| Thank you, Susan! |
professional author/editor French/Eng.
Native in: English
Works in: French to English, English to French, Spanish to English
my look/his eyes
The meaning seems clear to me, but I think you have to take some poetic license to render it in English properly. I also thing the meaning is "intensity" not power. He has those lucid, piercing eyes that pull her in.
| Thank you, arrathoonlaa! |
I saw myself reflected, lost in the depths of his blue eyes
La fidélité ne signifie pas qu'il faut rester collé au texte." - Claro
http://www.telerama.fr/livre/traduire-c-est-parfois-refaire-...
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Note added at 12 hrs (2009-04-06 05:23:25 GMT)
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"Le regard de l'Autre, c'est le miroir de l'âme…"
The French say, 'Les yeux sont le miroir de l'âme (The eyes are the mirror of the soul). 'The eyes are the window of the soul' is a variant form of the proverb..." From "Random House Dictionary of Popular Proverbs and Sayings" by Gregory Y. Titelman (Random House, New York, 1996).
The "image", here, is deeper than it may appear..
The narrator is caught up in a sort of "subtil jeu de mirroirs, à la Vélasquez"; finding herself, for a fleeting moment, both the subject (I) and the object (myself) of her own regard, as reflected in his…
As in the famous painting of Velasquez, "Las Meninas", exposed in the museum of Prado in Madrid, one of the main questions is :
Who Velasquez is looking at and painting ?
| Thank you, Edward! |
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