| Pages in topic: < [1 2 3 4 5 6 7] > | Off topic: Your biggest language blunder in everyday life Thread poster: Melanie Meyer
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Willem Prinse 
Spain
Local time: 18:44
Member (2017)
Spanish to Dutch
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While having a drink in a bar in Spain, my wife told her audience that she had a very sore backside because "estaba montando cabelleros todo el día", she was riding gentlemen the whole day, as opposed to "caballos" (horses).
| | | | Maggie JONES (X)
France
Local time: 18:44
French to English
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| Japanese fondue in France | Apr 23, 2012 |
In the lunchroom at my first translating job, after living in France for years, I was telling my co-workers about the Japanese fondue I had eaten the night before.
Somebody asked what Japanese fondue was, so I enthusiastically explained:
"Ils apportent une grosse marmotte que tu fais chauffer à ta table, et quand le bouillon est chaud, tu plonges dedans des légumes et des morceaux de viande."
What I meant to say was, "They bring a big pot (marmite) to yo... See more In the lunchroom at my first translating job, after living in France for years, I was telling my co-workers about the Japanese fondue I had eaten the night before.
Somebody asked what Japanese fondue was, so I enthusiastically explained:
"Ils apportent une grosse marmotte que tu fais chauffer à ta table, et quand le bouillon est chaud, tu plonges dedans des légumes et des morceaux de viande."
What I meant to say was, "They bring a big pot (marmite) to your table, which you heat until the broth is hot, then plunge your veggies and bits of meant into it." (Yummmmm)
What I actually said was: "They bring a big, fat woodchuck (marmotte), which you roast at your table, and when the broth is hot, you throw in bits of veggies and meat."
Some of my colleagues looked a little confused, so I repeated the whole thing about the big, fat woodchuck roasting at your table. "Yes, yes, it's wonderful..." Oh how embarrassing.
When I realized my mistake, we were all rolling on the floor. ▲ Collapse
| | | | Germaine
Canada
Local time: 12:44
English to French
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| Those little letters... | Apr 23, 2012 |
During a lecture on wastewater treatment processes, the speaker, a brilliant engineer, declared that the results of a particular technology were leaving her septical. Coming back to the office, she was still blushing... (in French, septique and sceptique (skeptical) are pronounced the same.)
A friend of mines, who teaches English as a second language, meets one of his students in a mall of the (anglophone) West Island. Eager to prove herself, the 40-year old woman shouts at a... See more During a lecture on wastewater treatment processes, the speaker, a brilliant engineer, declared that the results of a particular technology were leaving her septical. Coming back to the office, she was still blushing... (in French, septique and sceptique (skeptical) are pronounced the same.)
A friend of mines, who teaches English as a second language, meets one of his students in a mall of the (anglophone) West Island. Eager to prove herself, the 40-year old woman shouts at a salesman "Please, where can I find a rape?" Stunned, the salesman mumbles something like "Un instant! Un instant" and runs to a French-speaking collegue with the lady running behind him, still shouting "I just want a rape!". My friend finally manages to grab his student : "Here, Martha! Here! The drapes are here!"
I didn't spare myself blushes for having trouble saying cork (and not cock) or heat (and not eat).
[Edited at 2012-04-23 18:41 GMT] ▲ Collapse
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Steve Booth wrote:
told me the story of when he was teaching Arabic to some English wives whose husbands were posted to the middle east. he was only teaching a few basics so they could just do the niceties. But he had taught them how to say have you got any... ('andak) and covered a few essentials bread milk etc. He then said if you are shopping and don't know the word just say the English word.
one of the women later went to the haberdashery store to buy a zip not knowing the word she said 'andak zip.
She didn't realise until it was explained later that Zip sounds like the Arabic word for Penis.
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| German exchange students... | Apr 23, 2012 |
When I started learning German, the school participated in an exchange program and we all spent 2 weeks with a German family in Northern Germany during a time of the year with definitely not particularly nice weather.
The first morning we (we were lodged with a host family in pairs) came down for breakfast and had to muster up the courage to start speaking in this weird new language.
And what did I say (to break the ice)? "Es gibt viel Mist draussen"....
T... See more When I started learning German, the school participated in an exchange program and we all spent 2 weeks with a German family in Northern Germany during a time of the year with definitely not particularly nice weather.
The first morning we (we were lodged with a host family in pairs) came down for breakfast and had to muster up the courage to start speaking in this weird new language.
And what did I say (to break the ice)? "Es gibt viel Mist draussen"....
The problem being that in Dutch "mist" is the same as in English (fog), which was exactly what the weather was like, but, unfortunately, in German it means...sh*t.
Needless to say that it did not particularly increase my willingness afterwards to open my mouth and try to speak German.
[Edited at 2012-04-23 19:38 GMT]
[Edited at 2012-04-23 19:39 GMT] ▲ Collapse
| | | | John Walsh
Italy
Local time: 18:44
Italian to English
| At a pizzeria | Apr 23, 2012 |
When instead of ordering a "calzone" what I actually said was "cazzone".... (look it up)
| | | | Paul Dixon
Brazil
Local time: 13:44
Portuguese to English
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In memoriam | My mother's blunders | Apr 23, 2012 |
I can't remember any blunders of my own but must mention my mother's Portuguese mistakes. She lived in Brazil for almost 40 years but could never master the language.
1. She wanted to order condensed milk ("Leite Moça", a brand known elsewhere as the Milkmaid Brand), but instead of saying "Leite Moça" she said "leite de mosca" which means "flies' milk".
2. On another occasion, she wanted to say "suco de maracujá" (passion fruit juice) but came out with "suco de Marac... See more I can't remember any blunders of my own but must mention my mother's Portuguese mistakes. She lived in Brazil for almost 40 years but could never master the language.
1. She wanted to order condensed milk ("Leite Moça", a brand known elsewhere as the Milkmaid Brand), but instead of saying "Leite Moça" she said "leite de mosca" which means "flies' milk".
2. On another occasion, she wanted to say "suco de maracujá" (passion fruit juice) but came out with "suco de Maracanã" (Maracanã is the famous football stadium in Rio)
3. Another time at the bus station - she wanted to say "duas passagens para o leito" (leito = sleeper bus) but said "... para o leitão" (for the suckling pig)
4. At the butcher - instead of asking for "rabada" (oxtail) she would ask for "rabo" (tail, or, in slang, the ar*e) ▲ Collapse
| | | | JOHN PENNEY (X)
Local time: 13:44
Portuguese to English
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| Archbishop of Lima not amused | Apr 23, 2012 |
Willem Prinse wrote:
While having a drink in a bar in Spain, my wife told her audience that she had a very sore backside because "estaba montando cabelleros todo el día", she was riding gentlemen the whole day, as opposed to "caballos" (horses).
Good one! Reminds me of a comment by a rather staid English lady sitting at dinner attended by the Archbishop of Lima (Peru): explaining that she had had 300 Spanish classes and still couldn´t fathom the language, she admitted "Yo hablo con mis piernas" (I speak with my legs) rather than "Hablo con las manos" (hands), to which some journalist wag at the end of the table retorted "Habla pues, hijita, habla" (i.e. open them then). The Archbishop was not amused.
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JOHN PENNEY (X)
Local time: 13:44
Portuguese to English
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| THE LINGERIE DEPARTMENT AT BHV | Apr 23, 2012 |
Alistair Ian Spearing Ortiz wrote:
At the beginning I made quite a few gaffes in French, mainly sexually-related gaffes arising from seemingly innocent situations (my French friends used to say that's because they have l'esprit tordu - twisted minds).
For example, I was once munching a sandwich when a female friend came and kissed me on the cheeks. A while later, I referred to that by saying " J'étais en train de manger un sandwich quand tu es venue me baiser...". I immediately found out "baiser" is not quite the same thing as the Spanish "besar".
On another occasion I went to the cinema and decided to buy some popcorn before the film started. I couldn't find my credit card, so the shop attendant joked " Pensez-vous voler le popcorn?". And then I answered " Non, pour ce faire j'aurais besoin d'une pipe!. FAIL.
In Spanish, "pipa" is slang for "gun".
In French, "pipe" is somewhat different. It's slang for oral sex.
A piece of advice: if you go to France, watch out, even the most innocent words can have a sexual meaning  [Edited at 2012-04-19 06:36 GMT] [Edited at 2012-04-19 06:38 GMT]
Good ones! I have dozens. That´s the joy of language and so-called "dynamic equivalences". For example, arriving some years ago at the Paris department store BHV in an innocent search for "wood glue" I was quickly directed to the lingerie department on the 3rd floor, where I repeated my request to a trio of haughty female sales assistants for "collant de bois" (a pair of ladies wooden tights) instead of "colle". Needless to say, I made a rapid escape, followed by clearly audible mutterings of "Espèce de salaud anglais!!!"
| | | | | Things you can buy in other countries.... | Apr 23, 2012 |
This is an old story but our family still think it is funny.
My Swedish grandparents was visiting their new Danish in-laws before my mothers marriage to my Danish father. My Danish relatives took the grandparents shopping in the next town (Nykøbing Falster). Danish and Swedish is close related languages but there are some differences and here is one of them.... At the town square they have a store called "Taskehuset" (House of bags) What my dear old grandfather read was "The house ... See more This is an old story but our family still think it is funny.
My Swedish grandparents was visiting their new Danish in-laws before my mothers marriage to my Danish father. My Danish relatives took the grandparents shopping in the next town (Nykøbing Falster). Danish and Swedish is close related languages but there are some differences and here is one of them.... At the town square they have a store called "Taskehuset" (House of bags) What my dear old grandfather read was "The house of male genitalia".
My grandfather was laughing so hard - trying to keep up appearances - but laughing until tears was running down his face, while my grandmother trying to pretend she was somewhere else. When he could talk again, he turn to my absolutely stunned Danish grandparents, who did not understand what was so funny.... and asked if the genitalia was priced by weight or length... ▲ Collapse
| | | | Maria Ramon
United States
Local time: 11:44
Dutch to English
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| Some of my (late) mother's blunders ... | Apr 24, 2012 |
My parents were Dutch; my father spoke several languages and so did we, the kids, however, my mother understood all languages but speaking another language than Dutch was a completely different thing!
After having lived in Caracas, Venezuela for over 20 years they moved to Aruba because of the political situation in Vzla.
They had a store on Aruba and my mother waited on customers; many customers were Americans and they were nearly all repeat customers. My mother did speak Eng... See more My parents were Dutch; my father spoke several languages and so did we, the kids, however, my mother understood all languages but speaking another language than Dutch was a completely different thing!
After having lived in Caracas, Venezuela for over 20 years they moved to Aruba because of the political situation in Vzla.
They had a store on Aruba and my mother waited on customers; many customers were Americans and they were nearly all repeat customers. My mother did speak English, her way.
There was this couple that visisted the store frequently and she was happy to see them and said: 'Who are you? (in Dutch how=hoe, pronounced as who)
They would say: Remember us, we are John and Jean.
My mother: yes, I know, but who are you, you are good?
They: yes, we are doing good, how about you?
My mother: Oh, good, whore! good, whore!(in Dutch they often say 'hoor' when ending a sentence, pronounced as whore; meaning something like: oh we are doing fine, no problem).
When I heard that I had trouble keeping my composure.
I also remember that when we were small kids, my mother had to learn to drive the car because my father had a broken leg. So she learned and there she went down the road close to our home and on the corner was a police station; she stopped for the traffic sign and one of the police officers came out and asked her in Spanish if she needed help (times were very different in those days!), she said she did not, so the officer asked her; 'Seguro?' = are you sure? and she answered: 'Su culo, su culo' = your butt, your butt (culo is the vulgar word for butt), the expression on his face was priceless, however he knew her and also knew she did not speak the best of Spanish!
My brother and I had never heard her say a 'dirty' word ever. We still laugh about that.
[Edited at 2012-04-24 02:21 GMT] ▲ Collapse
| | | | | I can add mine | Apr 24, 2012 |
When I first came to Italy I was looking for a job. Someone suggested a place and gave me the address. I'm not great on directions so I asked on the street and they told me go to the traffic light and then.... Well I generally only remember the first part of the directions, get that far and ask again. But I didn't know the word "traffic light" so when I got on I stopped somebody and asked where Traffic Light street was.
In this vein for all of you who know English and Italian, I wou... See more When I first came to Italy I was looking for a job. Someone suggested a place and gave me the address. I'm not great on directions so I asked on the street and they told me go to the traffic light and then.... Well I generally only remember the first part of the directions, get that far and ask again. But I didn't know the word "traffic light" so when I got on I stopped somebody and asked where Traffic Light street was.
In this vein for all of you who know English and Italian, I would like to recommend a book: La Bella Lingua by Dianne Hales. It is her love affair with the Italian language and it is full of these things, nuances, funny episodes and lots of real information about the history and usage of Italian. It's priceless. ▲ Collapse
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| Are you schwül? | Apr 24, 2012 |
Could it be that Arabic speaking people do not have a diphthong sounding like the German "ü"? While teaching German to gents and girls from the Arabic-speaking world, on the subject of wheather, I commented that today "ist es schwül". There was a bewildered silence, where the ladies' faces turned red and the gentlemens' giggle could be heard. Finally one of the students called my attention to the fact, that the wheather could not be "schwul". It seemed that they all could neither perceive not ... See more Could it be that Arabic speaking people do not have a diphthong sounding like the German "ü"? While teaching German to gents and girls from the Arabic-speaking world, on the subject of wheather, I commented that today "ist es schwül". There was a bewildered silence, where the ladies' faces turned red and the gentlemens' giggle could be heard. Finally one of the students called my attention to the fact, that the wheather could not be "schwul". It seemed that they all could neither perceive not pronounce the "ü" sound. To them, I had said that the wheather was "gay" - a stark affront in a muslim culture. Thus I caused embarrassment, without saying something embarrassing at all...
[Edited at 2012-04-25 06:30 GMT] ▲ Collapse
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My husband's grandmother never learned very good Slovak (they spoke Hungarian at home) and is still famous in the family for things like "east and west" = "východ a záchod" (east and toilet - should be západ but perhaps you can see the logic...).
I had a friend report to me once that she had accidentally said she was pregnant but had no idea how. I suspect she may have said she was "v tom" (lit. "in it", so maybe an easy mistake to make). Same friend ordered "puppy" in the butche... See more My husband's grandmother never learned very good Slovak (they spoke Hungarian at home) and is still famous in the family for things like "east and west" = "východ a záchod" (east and toilet - should be západ but perhaps you can see the logic...).
I had a friend report to me once that she had accidentally said she was pregnant but had no idea how. I suspect she may have said she was "v tom" (lit. "in it", so maybe an easy mistake to make). Same friend ordered "puppy" in the butcher's shop once - štěně instead of stehna (thighs).
As for me, I fell into the prezervativ trap (mentioned before, does not mean preservatives!) more recently than I care to recall. Sometimes you just kind of wander into things and then your brain catches up...
But even dumber than that, I went to a job interview many years ago and was concentrating so hard on brushing up my best, sparkling Czech that I introduced myself by the WRONG NAME. I instantly corrected myself and explained that I had recently gotten married and gave my maiden name by mistake, but the receptionist looked kind of...skeptical. I was mortified.
And one of my husband's favorite stories of his early English days involves asking an American policeman for help when his car broke down in a parking lot. The officer radioed someone mentioning "I've got some foreigners here, they speak broken English..." My husband was crushed. The officer then told him, "Call triple A", so he went to a pay phone and dialed A - A - A. ▲ Collapse
| | | | Lisa Grayson
United States
Local time: 11:44
Spanish to English
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Arianne Farah wrote:
After spilling a glass of wine and wanting to say - "I'm so embarrassed!" and saying "I'm pregnant!" (embarrassada -spelling?) instead to the horrified looks of all the other patrons in the bar.
I made the same mistake. I ran away to Mexico City when I was 18 and spent hours (innocently) hanging out with the manager of my cheap hotel. One morning I accidentally spilled orange juice all over another guest and declared, "Lo siento, estoy tan embarasada." (I'm sorry; I am so pregnant.)
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